Word Finding Difficulties
by YouBlitheringIdiot
Summary: The Marauders at the Hogwarts Christmas Ball. James embarrasses himself, Sirius is embarrassing and Remus is embarrassed by his mates. Eloquence (or lack thereof) and Rock music feature.


Word Finding Difficulties

"She'll be here, Prongs," said Remus, looking at his friend steadily and resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, she's a bird, course she will be!" muttered Peter distractedly, staring at the sumptuous menu. He was trying to decide whether to have roast pheasant with parsnip purée or wild boar with twice fried chips, and he wondered why on earth he couldn't just have both. The Christmas Ball at Hogwarts promised more culinary treats than he could have predicted.

"It's make or break night, folks," said Sirius grinning. "If she orders the Wild Venison with Beetroot Crisps, this relationship is screwed!"

James threw a napkin ring at Sirius and was pleased to see it hit Sirius right on his forehead.

"Ouch! Uncalled for, mate!" said Sirius crossly.

"Piss off!" he said. "Go and bother one of those Ravenclaws, nine o'clock, they've been ogling you since we got here."

Sirius turned around to glance at them casually, pretending to scan the room and carelessly flipped his hair, before turning back to James and stretching loudly. Most of the hall was filled with students by now, chattering wildly and no doubt flirting wildly too, thought Sirius.

"Can't help it if I'm irresistible, can I? Mark my words, I'll be fighting them off before the night is over. How would you describe my predicament, Moony?" he said smirking, and winked at Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"You know, using one of your big words, the ones the rest of us have never even heard of?

"If you don't stop talking, I'm going to have to decollate you! Cacophany is the best word to describe the rubbish coming out of your mouth!" Remus sounded grumpy, but a small smile escaped him.

"Ah, decollate, cacophony!" said Sirius dreamily. "See what I mean, Prongs? I've no idea what he just said, but doesn't it make me sound like I'm terribly sexy?"

"Idiot!" snorted Remus.

"Big-headed idiot!" added James.

"Conceited, cocksure, immodest idiot," continued Remus.

"Hey!" said Sirius, feigning upset. "I'm pretty sure those are not the types of adjectives I was looking for!"

"I'm pretty certain they're correct though," said Peter joining in.

"What's with the ganging up on me?" Sirius asked. "I mean I get you're jealous and everything but – well, well, would you look at who's making a grand entrance?"

James looked up and froze.

Someone was walking down the curved staircase. She wore a figure-hugging, long, blue velvet dress. It was of simple design, square necked, sleeveless, with a low back. As she walked the slit in the skirt showed off her long legs and T-strap high-heeled shoes. She wore no jewellery whatsoever, but her glorious hair was scooped into a low, messy side-bun with waves of auburn curls escaping around her ears.

"Fucking hell!" said James, standing up.

"Evans sure scrubs up well," said Sirius, emitting a low whistle. "What colour is she wearing?"

"Shut up, Pads, don't be rude!" said Remus giving him a sharp dig in the ribs. "And it's petrol blue."

"Petrol blue, I love the smell of petrol," contemplated Sirius. "That girl's got taste! Oi, Evans, over here!"

Remus groaned and raised his hand to interrupt him, thought better of it, closed his mouth and brought his fingers to his mouth, biting his index finger. What sort of imbeciles was he associated with?

Lily seemed to have heard him, as she turned towards them smiling. She looked radiant, and confident and slightly embarrassed - an overwhelmingly attractive combination, thought James.

"Well Prongs, how would you describe Evans?" Sirius asked wickedly.

"Er… unstoppable," replied James, continuing to stare at the vision in front of him.

"Really? Unstoppable? Is that the best you can do? Not something like Goddess-like, ravishingly beautiful, exquisite?" Sirius was staring at his friend as if he had two heads.

"Yeah, well, I didn't mean that," said James hastily, as Lily approached closer. He had meant that he would never stop finding Lily so attractive, and that he was royally screwed, and that he hoped nothing would stop them ending up together some day. "When I'm around Evans, I have world – finding difficulties.

Sirius and Peter snorted with laughter.

"I mean, word – finding difficulties!" said James, blushing slightly.

"I don't know, Prongs, I think you may have hit the nail on the head, so to speak!" said Remus, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"Fuck off!" said James, whacking him on the head with his napkin.

"Excuse me?" said Lily who had reached their table and was standing right in front of James.

"No, no!" said James hurriedly. "I was talking to Remus!"

Peter and Sirius tried to hide their laughter by feigning a coughing fit, while Remus rolled his eyes at Lily and raised his palms in a gesture of helplessness. The orchestra had meanwhile started to play a slow-set. Sirius had previously bribed the conductor to play some muggle music, minus the lyrics. He didn't really know any slow muggle songs, so he had given them some sheet music and asked them to play it slowly.

"Is that…?" began Lily, staring at the orchestra quizzically.

"Yeah, Thin Lizzy, _The Boys Are Back in Town_ ," said Sirius proudly. "It was my idea. Inspired really."

" _The Boys Are Back in Town_ as a slow set?" Lily replied incredulously, eyes twinkling, and eyebrows practically disappearing into her hairline.

"Why not?" Sirius shrugged. "Good song."

Lily shook her head and stared at James. She thought he looked divine, in his charcoal grey dress robes, white shirt, tanned skin, sparkling eyes. She wanted to kiss him. Or at least tell him he was an idiot and run her fingers through his hair.

"Why are you standing up?" she asked him.

"He wanted to ask you to dance, Evans," replied Sirius.

"Oh, in that case, let's go, Potter. I think this may be a one in a lifetime chance to waltz to Thin Lizzy!" said Lily beaming, her green eyes dancing merrily.

She stretched out her hand towards James. James looked at it and her in turn, unable to stop himself staring at her upturned, plump, coral lips.

"Yeah, fair enough," he said huskily, pulling her over to the dance floor, and trying to ignore the dagger looks that Snape was sending his way.

"Congratulations all round, I suppose!" said Sirius grinning widely. "How would you describe the sight of them dancing together? Cacophany, was it?"

"Prat!" replied Remus grinning back. "Symphony, if anything!"

"Ah, what an evening!" said Sirius sighing contentedly. "Where would the rest of you be without my eloquence? The next song is going to be Pink Flloyd. I bet Evans can't resist fox-trotting to _Have a Cigar._ Gentlemen, I am a genius!"

Fin


End file.
